


Closer to the Sun

by PrimarchOmegon



Category: Warhammer - All Media Types, Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
Genre: Abuse, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Tension, Embarrassment, Emotional Manipulation, Emperor's Children, Forced Bonding, Forced Eye Contact, Language Kink, M/M, Master & Servant, Mild S&M, Night Lords, Non-Consensual Touching, Past Abuse, Pre-Heresy, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrimarchOmegon/pseuds/PrimarchOmegon
Summary: TL;DR: Stray Emperor's Children gets picked up by separated Night Lord ship and takes a not-so-healthy interest in a servant, attempting to fix how the 8th treats their humans by proving how much of a difference a little care and compassion can make. With all the wrong means and reasons behind it. Set in Pre-Heresy times, which makes Silas even more of a manipulative dick in retrospect.





	1. Chapter 1

„What you’re suggesting is unnecessary.“  
“I wouldn’t say that, it may improve what is already good!”  
“No.” He felt rather than saw how the other frowned. There was no point in looking at him, he had other things to do. And right now, it seemed like a good idea to be busy with taking apart his equipment to clean it. Usually, Caligola would have someone to do that, but since that was the person their conversation had circled around for the past seven minutes, he’d rather not incorporate them in something. At least not yet anyways.  
“He doesn’t need anything more than food and his limbs.”  
“And I’m telling you that servants work better when they get something back. A little encouragement, perhaps! Some kind of reward.”  
“Perhaps yours would need that.”, he scoffed, though the fact that he spread the oil a little too unevenly on his midnight blue armour gave him away. Talking bothered him, talking with this man bothered him. Mainly because he knew fully well that the Emperor’s Children liked hearing himself talk most of the time. Wouldn’t be a surprise if he was only talked to because there needed to be at least one person to make it seem like an actual conversation. There wasn’t much exchange of dialogue either way. Every second he had to look at these smug, blue eyes was a torture he didn't want to subject himself to. Eventually, he would have thought that the Emperor's Children would grow tired of trying to strike up a conversation with someone that was clearly not ging to respond. However, what he had gotten instead was a man that stroked back half a head full of blindingly silver hair and accepted the challenge he was presented with. Why would one even shave only one side of their head? That was like leaving a job half done.  
“Perhaps yours would _want_ that. Does he even know you have a name?”  
“What he wants is irrelevant as long as it doesn’t keep him from working.”, he merely replied, having the other's fine facial features frown in return. There was not a single scar on the Emperor's Children as well, contrary to his own face being worryingly familiar to what a blade felt like.  
“Has he ever called you Lord _Caligola_ instead of just _Sire_?”

“No.” And he preferred it that way. Caligola was not a man that talked much, nor did he value personal contact or closeness. Distance was how things worked out the best – and that was everything he was interested in. He didn’t care for much, though contrary to his brothers, he also didn’t find enjoyment in broadly displayed sadism. There was nothing that granted him enjoyment, not the killing, not the torturing, not even the rush of a good hunt. It had been like this since he had been born into the wretched embrace of Nostramo and its slums and it would continue until he’d die somewhere. Unremembered and unburied. When he had been young, he had acknowledged that other children displayed feelings and needs, so he had tried to coax them out with various things he had found in his path. Women, theft, murder, cannibalism, things that provoked extreme emotions from most everyone. But he hadn’t been everyone. And then, he had become aware of the fact that he was empty inside. There was nothing he could be filled with, since he was much like his home planet’s soil was. Blackened, cold and long dead. Trying to cultivate something without a nutritious ground to plant it was entirely fruitless and Caligola knew that very well.  
“Perhaps you should allow him to do that then. You know, give him a bit of comfort, that would most likely improve his working morale.”  
“So does strangling or breaking a rib. You are too soft, Silas.“ The Emperor’s Children nodded lightly, although it seemed more like a rehearsal for a stage play. What an annoyance.  
“Of course, I knew you’d say that sooner or later. But all my previous servants died of old age instead of blood loss or broken necks. So I’d dare say I know what I’m talking about.” He didn’t even know why they still called them servants, considering that those would get paid with something. If anything, Caligola found the term ‘slaves’ way more appropriate. Worthless, expandable and fragile. Though he also had to admit that his most recent one did prove himself to be a good tool.

“You’ve probably wasted a hundred of them by now, that should be enough to tell you you’re doing something wrong.”  
“I never asked for your opinion.” But that didn’t keep Silas from shoving it in his face. It never did, that was how they were.  
“And that’s your problem. Apart from countless other things that are wrong with you.” This time, he turned around, the cold gaze of his black eyes meeting the persistent colour of steel when they found the other’s. Even when they sat next to each other, Silas was slightly smaller than him, though the Emperor’s Children was also slimmer and possessed a more elegant figure, rather than plain intimidating. Whatever that meant by Astartes standards. Sometimes he saw some of them walk around the ship, Silas was not the only one. And he still wondered why his primarch was allowing such a distraction, such a nuisance to happen in the first place, then he remembered that the Night Haunter did not care much about anything regarding his legion. They were a tool to him and Caligola knew that, he found it fitting. If anything, he’d do the same. What he could not understand, however, was how trust could be placed in a primarch such as Fulgrim.  
“I owe you. That is the only reason I tolerate you being around here. As soon as my debt to you is cleared, I won’t put up with that anymore.” It had been a harsh day for his pride when the Emperor’s Children actually managed to save him from death. Of course, being what he was, made Caligola accept his death when it was certain without thinking twice. But having someone helping him out at the very last second had been a mockery in itself, not to mention that Silas had passed it off as no big deal. Caligola didn’t take such things lightly. If there was debt, it needed to be paid as quickly as possible. Only that the Emperor’s Children didn’t even seem interested enough to hold him to it. He did occasionally remind him that there still was debt left, but never really specified what needed to be done in order to clear it. It was exactly like a Night Lord would play and drag it out to keep another in the dark. And Caligola didn’t like things that reminded him of himself.

“I never got why this is such a thing with you. Most people would just accept it as a favour, but you seem to make it a burden – a horrible stain on your ego perhaps?”  
“Because I hate you and all you stand for. And I know how I would do it.”  
“Always so stern and cold, do you know how to laugh? Is your face even still capable of that?” He snarled at that, although it was funny to an extent.  
“Never was. But this is not supposed to be about me, you’re just using this as an excuse to loosen my tongue so that I’ll talk about myself.”  
“Caught in the act, although I my point still stands. Be friendly towards him, then he’ll start being happy doing his work. And that makes it better in terms of quality. Humans always do better when they’re motivated through happiness.” That was debatable. His slave did produce good results as it was, he barely needed to motivate him with imminent threads of broken bones or severed limbs. But he also entertained the thought of more productivity. And Silas would most likely not leave him alone until he gave in to the obvious bait.  
“So what do they want?”  
“I knew you’d bite sooner or later! Give him some appreciation, some rewards. Everyone likes rewards for their work, don’t they?” Complicated. Unnecessary, in his opinion, but he’d humour the other for a bit.  
“You’re asking me to-” He interrupted himself when the door opened. Silas turned his head, but Caligola already knew who it was. They had scheduled times where his slave was allowed in his private quarters and this was one of those timeframes.  
“I brought you the gauntlet you wanted, Sire.”  
“That is quite some timing.”, the Emperor’s Children remarked with a surprised nod, which seemed to irritate the human a little. Though he quickly found back to his routine.  
“Is my presence disturbing something, Sire?”

“No.” He finally got up and took the gauntlet to inspect the repair work. That was all he was interested in, however, he also noticed how very differently Silas looked at the human. Caligola could tell the exact moment when the other moved on from the slave’s broader figure to his jawline, then the brown eyes and dark, short hair. There was most likely some surprise regarding how dark his skin was. Something like that was certainly not expected in a ship such as this.  
“What’s your name, little one?”, Silas asked immediately, even bowing down a little to make the height difference slightly less uncomfortable. And to look at him a little closer, most likely.  
“Sire?” Caligola felt how he was looked at for directions on how to proceed, though he was entirely occupied with something much more important right about now. Eventually, the slave was helped out by a more understanding kind.  
“Your name. That’s not too difficult to answer, is it?”  
“Entirely not, Lord! I was merely confused as to why you would care, that is all.”  
“Well then?” Judging from the hesitation that suddenly took control of the moment, the human himself couldn’t exactly remember what his name was for a solid five seconds.  
“Janos, Lord.”, he eventually managed to get out. Not because of fear or respect, but because he had genuine troubles recalling it in the first place. And another bow followed immediately afterwards too.  
“Well, it seems you arrived at an opportune time, Janos. If your handiwork is good, that is…” This time, it was the Emperor’s Children that stared at him from the side, waiting on his judgement on the repair work he had been presented with.  
“It’s sufficient.”, Caligola merely said, which made Janos bow immediately.  
“I’ll be returning to my work then, Sire.”

“Now hold on, I think there’s something missing! Something we’ve recently discussed…?”, Silas intervened, which actually made Janos stop in his tracks. Caligola had halfway hoped that his slave would just automatically ignore orders that were not his.  
“Fine, here.” He tossed the human a tattered seal that had once had been placed upon amour. It had also not been one he had used, considering that he despised those things and all the unnecessary sounds they made. Not to mention that such a seal was an ironic joke in this legion, he knew better than engaging in one of those.  
“I’m afraid I’m not schooled when it comes to the restauration of paper, Sire. But I will try.”  
“No, keep it.” For a slight moment, Janos seemed to have trouble understanding, then his eyes lit up and Caligola could feel Silas breathe in a little deeper than usual.  
“I will take care of it then, Sire.” He bowed again and left, though the Emperor’s Children didn’t seem convinced yet. Good. Caligola was under the opinion that he didn’t have to prove anything to anybody except his father.  
“Your first thought of a gift is a ragged purity seal that is not even yours, judging from the insignia?”  
“That is your fault. You didn’t specify anything.” Though somehow, in the back of his mind, he suspected that that would not be the end of this mess.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Silas begins to invade Janos' privacy. A lot.

He took his time to actually make himself known, although the rather loud step he took inside the room didn’t seem to faze the other much. Perhaps he had heard him from the very beginning.  
“Yes, Lord? How may I be of service?”  
“Straight to the point I see!” Janos managed a light bow before the beeping of something inside the wall made him return to his work rather abruptly. Apparently, he had undone one of the panels and was trying to get a hold of a certain cable. Silas nodded at that, he had respect for such people. Although one didn’t have much of a choice on this ship, he reckoned.  
“What seems to be the problem?”, he brushed the initial topic aside and crouched down beside the human, which startled the latter a good amount after pulling himself out of the space in the wall again. Was he not used to someone expressing interest in what he was doing or was it because they were close to each other? Silas had always maintained a good relationship with his servants, which included being involved in their private life as much as their working times. He idly wondered if Caligola even knew that Janos had his own place, that he didn’t just sleep in a ditch somewhere between machines and covered in oil.  
“The chemical shower, Lord. Mine started acting up lately and I suspect it’s the wiring. Although I will check the pipes after this too.”  
“Perhaps it’s the shower cabin itself?”  
“I find that unlikely, but all is possible, I guess!” Immediately after he had realized what he had been saying, Janos almost pushed himself out of the space to bow again.  
“I apologize, Lord. I spoke without respect and mindfulness to your rank.”  
“Where are you from, Janos?” A little irritated at his admissions being dismissed so easily, the human hesitated for a moment. They could be cute, much like a little pet or similar things. Something one treasured because of their adorableness. As for himself, Silas had always found them cute in a way. As a species, some individuals were not exactly worthy of such a description. But most of the ones he had met were, no matter if they were capable generals, servants or commanding entire ships.  


“Pelagura Primus, Lord. I’m sure you’re familiar with it?” What a coincidence. He had never thought he’d ever meet a Pelagurian. As much as they were exploited, they were rare as well, since they usually did exceptionally good jobs. No matter what one would order them to do.  
“Who isn’t? I do not intend to offend you when I ask this, but what is it like growing up on a world that is made for raising servants?”  
“Be assured that you’re by far not the first one to ask me this, Lord. I wouldn’t mind being asked a hundred times more by now.” Janos reached into the space once more, seemingly probing for something before returning his attention to the Emperor’s Children again. It was as if he didn’t want to be disrespectful, but at the same time, he also had his work to do.  
“As for the answer I owe you, Lord: It feels normal. Like you said, I was bred and raised to work, it’s what my people did for centuries, all across the galaxy. No matter what it is, there will be one of us that fits the bill and I express pride in being versatile, my Lord.” Silas nodded, trying to give out at least some form of praise with that. Did Janos even receive praise for certain things? Sure, Silas knew how Caligola was, despite the Night Lord trying his best to not bond or even bother with him most of the time. But if one never told their servants what they did right, then how were they supposed to perfect themselves?  
“I was wondering how the terribly scary man encourages you to do good.”  
“My Lord?” Janos blinked a couple of times, his reply unintentionally being both answer and confusion at once. Although eventually, he put two and two together by himself.  
“Being scared is not an emotion I would relate to him at all. It’s not imminent fear, it’s unsettling. Very incredibly so. Again, as to your question: My kind is naturally motivated to work, it’s in our genes. But if I feel mine dropping, I remind myself of the consequences a decrease in quality will have for me. The first times are hard to get through, but after so many years, it’s routine.” This time, it was Silas’ turn to not understand immediately, though Janos was quick to follow up on it with a drop of pride in his voice.  
“My Lord has not laid a hand on me since months now, perhaps even years. I can’t say for sure, my apologies.”  
“And how many times did that occur?”  


“As far as I recall, I have only been woken up in the medicae station two times. Everything else had not been as serious that I couldn’t have gotten there by myself eventually. I always was under the impression that things that were made to end lives will mostly break what they’ll touch, my Lord. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, but this is something that this legion… _is_. My apologies, again, you are here for answers and I should provide those instead of trailing off.” Well, that didn’t surprise him much. Even though he was aware that the Night Lords weren’t a particularly friendly legion regarding most anyone, Silas had kind of hoped that they would at least be smart enough to not waste resources. After all, they did carry out their work with the help of hundreds of mortals. All of them did and it was good to not forget that.  
“I find it quite refreshing that there is still a mind thinking for itself inside that head of yours.”  
“And yet, the thing I excel at is taking orders, Lord.”  
“It makes things easier, I presume.”  
“That it does, my Lord. Although I also can’t deny that it is what I’ve been conditioned to do.”

It seemed like Janos had wanted to add something to that, though he restrained himself from doing so. It was interesting to see how stern such an intricate face could become, how a face that seemed like it had been made to show off a light-hearted smile was changing into the one of a marble statue. Or not so marble in this case, considering Janos was probably the only person on this ship that actually sported a copper skin tone instead of bone white. At least he wouldn’t start to burn instantly upon contact with the sun, which was what Silas secretly suspected all Night Lords to do if they didn’t always attack at night and wore their armour. Janos would have made a good Astartes, his physique was as required, he seemed mentally healthy and his mind set would have worked well in a couple of legions.  
“Just for my amusement, were you born after the compliance of your planet or before? I imagine recruitments are held regardless of what your world is used for.”  
“After, my Lord. Roughly 30 years, as I was told.”  
“Why were you rejected in the selection progress?” The other hesitated for a slight moment, quite reluctant to touch on the subject. When he did, however, Janos didn’t deem it necessary to hide how he felt about it.  
“I wasn’t, my Lord. But I failed to provide the desired results in the training phase and the few implants that I had received were removed again.” Then, even more hesitating, he uttered a sentence that lead into something which Silas would later consider one of the strangest things he had ever heard.  
“I would not be surprised if recruitment has stopped by now.”  
“And why is that?” The human shrugged lightly.  
“Because my people know what they are made of and made for. Most of them will return to what they do best, it’s what we were taught.” Silas took a moment for himself to properly dissect what he had heard, though he refused to accept what Janos was trying to tell him. He refused to accept such an unlikely answer as the truth.  
“You purposefully failed? You _purposefully_ rejected the chance of becoming something greater?”  
“That is correct, Lord.” At this point, there was only one question on his mind that actually mattered. One that outshone all the others popping up one by one.  
“Why?”  


“Because I know my place, Lord.”, Janos answered, seemingly not at all bothered by how baffling his answers were. In fact, he even deemed it necessary to add to it by continuing. As if that would explain this idiocy any better…  
“It may seem strange to someone who is not familiar with our upbringing and values, but _a lifetime servant will do no good if he is suddenly made king_. It’s an old saying of ours.”  
“It’s most certainly odd.”, he agreed, wondering why the human seemed to get a little more uncomfortable for each second that passed. Then it occurred to him that they were still crouching next to each other, beside the open panel in the wall. The only occasional movement had been Janos shifting around a bit and sometimes checking the wiring again. Silas himself was not entirely sure were that discomfort truly came from, perhaps because they were also relatively close to each other too. But that shouldn’t be a problem for a servant, really. Except that Caligola probably never let Janos near him to begin with- Throne, this situation would probably prove itself rather difficult in general!  
“What I came here for in the first place…” He set back a little, standing up again to give the other man some space. Now that they were no longer on the same level, Janos seemed to relax a little more, which was strange in itself, but Silas knew why. He had seen it around here often, eye contact and coming down to the same level as the servant in question was used as intimidation. Closeness was a way to force them into submission because of how uncomfortable the Night Lords made it seem. If one could make eye contact without looking up, then people had to watch what they said and did carefully.  
“I have to admit, I was curious on whether you put that gift to good use.” Another sudden flash of irritation appeared on the servant’s face and again, it was honest.  
“A gift, Lord?”  
“It was a purity seal, if I remember correctly.”  


“Oh, that! I’ve made a copy and tried to restore it, but my hands and fingers are not made for such tasks, I’m afraid. They’re happier with metal and bolts. Though I think you may have misunderstood, my Lord, I’m merely storing it until it’s needed again.” Silas shook his head lightly, finding back to a patient smile. Sometimes, you had to feed things to humans. Slowly and steady, so that they may understand themselves after a while.  
“I’m most certain it was a gift.”  
“Well, I can only hope that it wasn’t, Lord!” He raised his perfect eyebrows at such a sudden display of honesty and bluntness. One would most likely be fed up with having to ask for every bite of information, but Silas had seen how servants were around here. They did not speak, even when they were spoken to, and they did not say more than confirming the orders they had been given. Most likely in fear of punishment. Some of them looked like they were in bad shape, he had seen a particularly pale man walk the corridors the other night. It was always night on these ships.  
The young servant had seemed quite tense with his master at his side like an abusive, overprotective fiancé, but his movements had been something else. There had been a limp to his walk and the breathing had sounded like a broken rib or two. And the way the servant had been urged forward with a rough push by his Lord every time he almost tripped had been the icing on the cake. It was obvious that no one cared. The fact that no one cared had made these kinds of things acceptable. Humanity was what they fought for, was it too much to ask to treat them with the respect they deserved?  
“And why is that?“  
“Because he never did that before, my Lord. It would be rather terrifying to think of what this might mean for me.”  


“Why?”, he asked again, somehow truly intrigued by where this was going. All the mechanics of a legion he had previously thought of as just not opening up towards anyone were now revealed to him. Sure, not _all_ of them, but it gave him a good overview of how Caligola was in his private time – If he had any to begin with.  
“You see, things that are out of routine are always a sign to be careful, my Lord. The routine is normal, it’s when everything works according to how it should. If it changes, then there’s something wrong. And I would not like to find out what that is regarding my superior, lest it will be taken out on me.” Silas frowned a little, though it was purely cosmetic.  
“A simple gift would lead you to believe that?”  
“I’m a careful man, Lord.”, Janos answered with something that almost resembled a full smile.  
“This legion does not need reasons to do certain things, my Lord does not need reasons to do certain things. Which is why one in my position should heed the warning signs while they still remain a warning.”  
“Then what if I told you that there was more for you than just that ragged thing?”  
“Well, I’d be most unsettled, Lord!” Janos had thought his question to be rhetorical, he could see that as soon as he presented him with a box. The servant even turned slightly pale once realisation fully set in.  
“This is a predicament…”, he mumbled, although it was very audible to Silas’ ears.  
“You are most definitely not making this easy for me.” At this point, he gave in and decided to tell the poor man what this was supposed to be. It hadn’t meant to put him up on the spot like that, although Silas had to admit his curiosity regarding if the servant would actually take it, even if he didn’t know it was not a gift from his master.  
“It’s not from the Heartless himself, don’t worry.” Janos blinked at him. And then, for the first time since Silas had seen him, he snickered. He openly displayed amusement and a smile. It was absolutely adorable.  


“You’d best not let him hear that, Lord. He might do something uncalled for and I’d hate to be responsible for that. Though I am curious, whom is it from then? And for what?”  
“Me.” The slight bit of disappointment when the human didn’t react as heavily to this revelation than the one before irritated Silas a little, but he pushed that aside quickly.  
“I thought you might appreciate some theoretical input regarding your works. Just in case you stumble across something particularly difficult. You can read, no?”  
“Indeed I can, my Lord. Be assured that I am most thankful for this.”, Janos replied dutifully and bowed his head before and after he had put the book away. There was barely any room in his private quarters as it was, but it seemed like he did have a few shelves and a place to store his clothes at least. No desk though, he probably read or wrote things on his bed.  
“Good literature is scarce here.”  
“It’ll be a nice change of pace to read something that doesn’t insult you or throws obscene words everywhere.”, Silas agreed with half a grin. He had had his fair share of Nostraman literature and wasn’t going to go back down that road. Not to mention that their insults consisted of various sentences instead of words. This language could have been used for an impressive amount of lyrical art and it instead chose to thrive on obscenities and shock value.  
“Though I have to admit that I’ve always had my troubles with reading High Gothic, Lord. It will be an adventure to read through it, barely anyone speaks Gothic here.”  
“Oh? Let’s hear it then.” An unfair move to put him up on the spot like that, right after Silas had acknowledged that he didn’t want to do that. But he was curious and had lost his inner battle, only to be coaxed into whatever he had just begun. It wasn’t just that he wanted to know more about this man, that his interest hat peaked for some reason, no. It was amusement.  


“A-aloud, my Lord..?”  
“Aloud, yes.” And he didn’t feel guilty enough to stop Janos from retrieving the book again and opening it. The servant actually had to sit down on the bed in order to stop himself from shaking lightly, though his hands still betrayed his calm features. Apparently, a whole new load of pressure had been added onto his shoulders just about now. And then, he started reading. Silas could barely hold back a chuckle upon having a grown man trip over certain words and syllables like a child, concentrating and trying to maintain a constant, rhythmic flow of words as if he was reading his homework out to the class. What darling creatures they were, these moments reminded him of what he fought for.  
“I apologize, my Lord.”  
“What for?”  
“I don’t know how to pronounce this.” When he took the book, he felt Janos’ hands jolting away in fear of touching his fingers by accident. Perhaps a quite natural reaction for someone who was used to only getting touched when disciplined, but not the one he would have preferred. It felt jarring, not as friendly and personal as it had been when Janos had received his gift.  
“ _Liquidity_?”  
“That one, yes. Thank you, Lord.“  
“Say it.” He leaned forward a little. Unconsciously. Anticipating.  
“Li… Liquid-ity, my Lord?” Silas drew a heavy breath, although he could think of no reason to do so. Somehow, this situation made him feel tense. It had been slowly creeping up during the time they had talked and now, it had reached its peak. When had it started and why was it such an issue for him all of a sudden? They were mentally trained to instinctively push against such things, so why did that not kick in now?  
“You need to say it a little softer. I know that Nostraman is vastly different from High Gothic in both grammar and pronunciation, but that’s something you’ll have to get through.”

And then, a sudden thought sprung up inside him.  
“Does your planet not speak the language of the Imperium?”  
“It does, at least where it’s needed, Lord. We were taught High Gothic in school, but that dates back a very long time for me. That’s why I remember how to speak it, but I have trouble reading it, we mostly speak our own language. Of course, everything formal will be settled in High Gothic though.” That would explain a couple of things. Perhaps Pelagian was equally harsh and unfriendly as Nostraman, but he doubted that.  
“I see.” He should retreat now, give Janos some space for himself and his thoughts. Though at the same time, there were so many things that Silas hadn’t asked him about, so much information that had not been filed or even discovered yet. And he was curious as to where the limit was. Where would be the point where Janos would draw the line and refuse to give him anything else? How far could he push the servant?  
“Are there any other questions you might want to pose, Lord?” Lots of them, at least a dozen came up while the other had still been in the middle of his own. But Silas knew very well that humans needed breaks, especially humans like this. The ones that were conditioned to not tell anyone how exhausted and drained they were until they passed out or worse.  
“I was wondering how many came before you.”, he said, not realising how that sounded for a moment. Though before he could even say something else or apologize, Janos had already picked up the question with ease.  
“That, I am not certain of, my Lord. He never told me how many came before me and frankly, I think he has stopped counting. So I would assume it were many.”  
“I should have worded it a little better.”, Silas admitted, although Janos didn’t seem to be bothered by that, rather than confused. There were most certainly a lot of things that seemed to confuse this man.  


“It was just a question, Lord. I don’t mind being asked questions, that is why you came here in the first place, isn’t it?”  
“So you’re waiting for me to get on with the list?”  
“If there is more, then yes, my Lord.“ He sighed a little, barely audible.  
“I was also wondering if you asked yourself why I am here, asking you all these questions.” Another moment of hesitation for Janos, another deep breath and careful consideration before answering. As if Silas had just asked him a trick question where the solution was more complicated than it seemed.  
“I did not.”, he eventually confessed, looking slightly distraught over that. It was obvious that Janos thought he had been expected to think about it and that he had been disappointing a superior, although he was conditioned not to think or voice his opinion in the first place. Humans always worried about so many things they had no control over, it was kind of adorable to watch.  
“Then do it now, I would be intrigued what your answer would be.”  
“Well, my Lord, I thought that you just felt like it. Pardon me for such a blunt assumption.”  
“You didn’t suspect there was a reason to it?”  
“No. As I previously mentioned, people on this ship don’t need reasons to do certain things, Lord. I apologize if I expected something from you that was diff-” Janos cut off his own sentence and hastily backed off as far as he could when Silas moved closer. It had been a measly two steps, though the distance between them had shrunk a considerable amount with that. When compared to an average male, Janos might have been a bit taller and undoubtedly more muscular, though to Silas, he was just as small and slim than any other human. It reminded him a little of when he had first laid eyes upon his future mentor back then. An incredible, startling sight, so intimidating and yet graceful. Although Silas had also felt like ever since he became what he was now, the memory of the grace and wonder he had experienced had been fading over time. Still, perhaps he would be able to give some of these feelings to Janos somehow. Something that would add a positive feeling to the intimidation he already experienced every day.  
“You should stop apologizing when there’s nothing to apologize for.”  
“I… Thought of it as appropriate, Lord…”  
“Shouldn’t it be my right to deem what’s appropriate and what is not?” He saw Janos’ eyes widen at that and how he turned a little pale. Such a statement had most likely been a little too much to start off with.  


“I-It wasn’t my intention to claim such a thing, Lord! I wasn’t trying to!”  
“I won’t think anything of it.”  
“Still, I apologize for my lack of respect towards your authority, Lord-”  
“Accepted.”  
“It won’t happen agai-” What he got for putting his hand on Janos’ shoulder was not so much a light flinch, rather than a startled jump. Maybe Silas should have refrained from having them talk face to face, but it was too late to back up again. If he wanted to get his point across, it had to be like this and now.  
“ _Janos_.”, he said as calmly as possible, though an unconscious purr mixed itself with the undertone of his voice.  
“I said it’s fine.” Contrary to turning pale in the beginning, the servant’s cheeks now darkened a little more, indicating blood rushing to his face with the uprising embarrassment. Though his hands remained clenched to fists and his body didn’t seem like it wanted to loosen up anytime soon. The gaze that met his own was both apologetic and indicated being uncomfortable, but also afraid to break eye contact in fear of being rude. Silas could feel the anticipation of something horrible radiating from him like waves of an ocean. But at the same time, he didn’t know how to properly counter that, except for doing something entirely unexpected, maybe.  
“And I also don’t remember telling you to stop talking.”  
“A-Apologies, my Lord…” He sighed again. That was a long and uneven road they were about to go down. But surely, somewhere along those lines, they would both be rewarded for what he tried to pull off. Out of sympathy, he took a step back again and put a little more space between them, efficiently making the servant breathe in a little deeper in the process. Still, he tensed up again when Silas put his hand onto Janos’ head. It may have seemed demeaning to any other human, let alone a grown man, but something told him Janos wouldn’t think anything of it.  


“You’re doing good in all the right ways.”, he said with a lopsided smile, though at first, the servant didn’t even seem to realise he was spoken to. His first reaction towards being touched had been a certain acceptance and the expectation of punishment, which turned into an absent-minded irritation upon not having any delivered.  
“I’m, uh… glad I am sufficient, Lord…?” There was a slight question mark at the end, undoubtedly to convey some of the confusion into a suitable sentence without overstepping any boundaries again.  
“You sure are…”, he said with a confirming nod.  As far as he was concerned, Janos was more than just sufficient.  
“You sure are.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Silas aims for bonding and gets weird looks instead

“Perhaps I should return later.”  
“If that would be more comfortable to you, then I would not object, Lord.” Of course, he wouldn’t object. Servants never objected to anything, even if one disturbed their lunch break.  
“I don’t mind letting you finish your meal.” Nevertheless, he also hoped that Janos wouldn’t mind him all too much if he sat next to him. Which was difficult in terms of actually sitting down, since there were no chairs to begin with. Janos ate on his bed, much like he did everything else there that needed a clean and more or less flat surface. And upon closer inspection, Silas wasn’t entirely sure if he could sit down without risking the perfectly stable state this piece of furniture seemed to be in.  
“What does it taste like?“  
“Bland, Lord.”, the servant answered, but continuing to eat regardless. It was the same on every other ship, people eventually made their peace with the artificial food. Mostly, at least. And since Janos never left the ship anyway, he probably hadn’t tasted real food in years.  
“Same as ours then.”  
“Only that one of your rations would kill me if I’d ever attempt to eat them, Lord.” There was no way he’d ever get tired of Janos’ careful, yet well-placed humour. And ever since he was visiting the servant more frequently, he felt like their conversation had somewhat eased up a little more. It was less difficult for the other to talk to him more freely.  
“I do have a question, Lord.” And also that. He had begun to ask him questions on his own.  
“Go ahead.”  
“Why are you here? On this ship, I mean.”

  
“Ah, _that_. I should indeed be in a completely different sector, more precisely the one my legion is currently operating in. But it just so happened that my deployment was delayed, together with a couple others. We were ordered to follow with a significantly smaller ship, which… has had an unfortunate accident on the way. I’m afraid the same thing goes for my brothers. I’m the only one that survived, only to be rescued by the wonderful people of the VIII. legion.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that, Lord.”  
“Don’t think about it too much.” Silas waved his hand dismissingly.  
“It’s my burden to carry, not yours. I have taken my respective time to grief already.” He wasn’t exactly sure how far Janos’ understanding of an Astartes’ mental training went, but as it turned out a moment later, that wasn’t even necessary.  
“Then you decided that it is time to return to work, my Lord?”  
“Indeed. Well, the things I am allowed to do here at least. They do not look kindly upon my mind set, I’m afraid.”  
“They do not look kindly upon anything, my Lord. That is just how they do things.”  
“Ways and views can be changed.” Janos nodded at that and smiled lightly, though he also set a chunk of his attention on his meal. Multitasking was most certainly an admirable feature, though Silas was kind of curious how many things the servant could to at once. And which ones would decrease in quality.

  
“Absolutely, Lord. Though only if said person allows it.”  
“Ignorance is a choice.”, he agreed, idly watching the other eat. The way he used his knife and fork was strict and without any unnecessary movements. Straight to the point. He didn’t even use it by accident while performing a gesture. Though Janos rarely used gestures to begin with while he talked. His body language was a controlled concoction of wanting to please but also standing his ground. Silas knew where that came from, the servant had told him that that was what they had been taught on his home planet. If a servant did not look sharp and wasn’t able to stand up against others, then what was the point of being a valuable asset to their master? And contrary to most of the other Night Lords, Caligola was actually capable of understanding that fear and loyalty where two different things and that the first would not guarantee the latter. Though he had also said before that intimidation would help speeding up the process towards loyalty a little more.  
“The questioning for today is going to be extraordinarily intense, all previous weeks have led up to this one.” Janos looked at him for a moment, his eyes unavoidably showing that he felt like someone had just presented him with a surprise exam. While he was eating. However, he would not be an excellent servant if he hadn’t been able to snap out of it immediately.

  
“I’m ready, Lord.” From loosened up to business within a second.  
“You don’t seem to socialise with the others much.”  
“I do not know or interact with most of these people during my day, Sire. My Lord ordered me to attend the needs of his armour and weapons and everything else he thinks I am capable of. So I’d say I mostly interact with the people that provide me with the materials needed for said tasks.” Well, that was most standard, everyone did their jobs accordingly. But that didn’t mean that there wasn’t any room for friendly interactions.  
“Still, you could try to get to know them after work, couldn’t you? After all, it’s shift work.”  
“The people I see are mostly doing shifts, yes, Sire. Though my work has none. I have free time when I have free time and said privacy can end whenever my Lord needs something. I am currently dismissed, for example. That means I get to eat.”, Janos answered calmly, setting his empty food package aside. It seemed like he didn’t even want to get up and put it in the trash in fear of being disrespectful.  
“And the other thing is that I do not find them interesting, Lord. And I am certain they think the same about me. We are cogs in a well-oiled machine, always next to each other and working hand in hand, but our only concern is that we cannot function properly without the other. And if something cannot function, a cog will be replaced by a better one.”

  
“I would not say you are that expendable.”, Silas countered, though he knew his opinion didn’t have any weight. It wasn’t his legion, his personal views were nothing more than worthless statements within here.  
“Because as of now, I am not. But if mistakes happen, if I get side-tracked too much, then I will turn into a liability. And I am well aware of the fact that I am just a servant and therefore exchangeable, my Lord. Just like every other one on this ship.”  
“Then what do you find interesting? _Whom_ do you find interesting?” It was as if all the progress they had made had been reset. Janos may not be extra careful with what he said anymore, but he still did choose his words wisely. And as competent as he had answered the questions about his home planet and everything regarding his work, the more he struggled with personal things. Most people didn’t care about the servants as long as they did their jobs, Silas was well aware of that, it was the same on his ship. But efficiently making them forget they even had a personality was something entirely different.  
“I like to read, Lord.”, Janos then answered rather hesitatingly.

  
“And that is all you can come up with? Next you’ll tell me you like living, eating and breathing.”  
“My apologies, Lord.” The servant shifted a little on the bed, trying to adjust his seating position to be more comfortable. It was clear that Janos didn’t like to be insufficient, but he also refused to propose another question or explain that he was not good with this subject. He didn’t want to state things that were obvious to everyone involved.  
“I shouldn’t have asked someone that is under the opinion he’s not interesting.”, Silas said, lightly teasing. Though true to his initial suspicion, his bait was not taken. Not even glanced at.  
“I apologize for that, my Lord.”  
“Yet, it brings us to a question that had come up a few weeks prior, if you remember. It was if you wondered why I am here, asking you all these things.” Janos nodded lightly, though it seemed like he was still surprised to be put on the spot again. With the same question no less. And then, all of a sudden, a realisation seemed to have set in.  
“I am suspecting it is because you… find me interesting, Lord...?”  
“That is correct.”

  
“Oh.” He raised an eyebrow, not exactly sure how to interpret the servant’s expression correctly. Although he didn’t have to, the embarrassment that flooded Janos’ face only moments later was visible enough.  
“I… have not been aware of that, Sire.”, he confessed, leaving Silas to wonder if the servant was capable of socialising in the first place. Perhaps he remained secluded on purpose, simply because he did not know how to go about it.  
“You thought I was testing you for three weeks straight?”  
“Well, yes, Lord. There was no other reason that seemed logical to me.”  
“So now that you know that it’s possible to be interested in you, I want you to think about it again. A female, perhaps?” After all, Janos was still a man and of appropriate age to mate and have an offspring.  
“I’m afraid not, my Lord.”  
“No?”

  
“Not in here, Lord. It would affect my work and hers as well. In any other environment, I would agree with you, Lord. But not in here.” Janos allowed himself something that could almost be classified as a smile. Now that he was on unknown territory again, he returned to his careful behaviour to be absolutely sure he wouldn’t make a mistake.  
“I see. How does that work out for you though, humans are social creatures. And as far as I’ve noticed, mating seems to be one of your top priorities.” Unlike what he had expected, the servant was quick to answer this time. Apparently, this was not the first time he had been asked such a thing.  
“Perhaps it is, my Lord, I don’t know for sure. And I cannot deny that it feels nice to be loved, but I have always thought of myself as being adaptive to the situation I’m presented with. And if there is no way to balance it with my amount of work, then I simply don’t.” Admirable, but establishing such control over mind and body to not even think about it once was quite impressive as well. After all, feelings were the blessing and bane of every human being because of how uncontrollable they were at times.  
“That must have taken you years of practise.”  
“It’s most certainly not an easy task, my Lord. But it works.”  
“Do you still _know_ how to socialise?” The servant shrugged lightly, though it looked like he tried to restrain himself mid shrug, reminded of whom he was talking to and how to show appropriate amounts of respect.  
“I think you should be the judge of that, my Lord. One can say all kinds of things about themselves without knowing what is actually accurate.” That was true. Then again, Silas had been under the impression that Janos was not very keen on giving out his self-perception anyway. He was cautious.

  
“I’m not entirely sure about that, after all, you’re addressing me formally and with the utmost respect. But perhaps I could give my opinion if you showed me an example.” He doubted that the servant was like that with other humans, but he was all Janos had for now. The only one that seemed to care. No, the only one that _did_ _care_.  
“What kind of example, Lord?” The servant backed up on the bed a little when Silas sat down on the ground in front of him. Fortunately though, it put them at about the same height for once.  
“Socialize with me! Pretend that I’m human. You can drop the formalities for a moment, I don’t mind.” Janos hesitated a considerable amount of time, then, his body slowly relaxed. He leaned back on the bed with folded legs, shifting the weight onto his arms and palms. And when he looked up, his eyes seemed far less distant than before, though the illusion flickered a little as the servant attempted to go through with what he had begun.  
“I’m afraid you came a little too late. Would you mind having dinner with me next time though? I could wait for you, unless I have heavy lifting work to do! That always strains me and I have to eat something right away!” As much as Janos had hesitated at first it took Silas an even greater amount of willpower to not pet the other’s head or resort to any gestures that might have been even more demeaning towards a grown man. But the way Janos said these words, the way he smiled and the expression he sported… It was all so perfectly crafted that he couldn’t help but feel intrigued by how well each piece matched the other.

  
“What do you propose then, I could make room in my schedule for this evening.” The servant jolted back a little; an involuntary reaction towards having to continue something so straining.  
“I’m sorry, it’s always night in here, I don’t think the times of the day will be helpful any longer!”  
“Then what about now?” It was too tempting to not follow up on that by pulling out a few rations from a bag on his belt. Of course, Janos wouldn’t be able to eat them, but watching someone else eat wasn’t all that bad. At least for him it wasn’t, however, the servant had to be brought back to the topic at hand with a subtle gesture.  
“Can do, as long as I’m not called back for something.” Silas nodded at that, taking his time to eat, although he wasn’t really in need to do so. It made things more realistic and in turn would hopefully help Janos to keep up the conversation.  
“Is that… all you need, my L-” His finger had found the other’s mouth faster than the sentence could have been finished. And he’d damn well ensure it would not be finished.  
“What did I tell you? You could have asked me a ton of other questions that don’t end in a title.” His eyes lingered. His eyes lingered on this shocked, yet very endearing expression he was shown and he was painfully aware of that. He had forgotten how squishy humans were. So much soft flesh instead of hard muscles, a fragile skeleton instead of genetically manipulated bones. With only a slight push, he could feel Janos’ teeth under his finger. _Tiny_. So adorably tiny.  
“Come on, think of a better one.” He lifted his finger for the time being, though Janos seemed like he was unsure if he was allowed to even breathe. Again, all healthy colour had been drained from his face. It took Silas a moment to realise that he had gotten up from his seated position within the blink of an eye and in order to reach Janos’ face, he had bent over the edge of the bed and a considerable amount of the other man too. All of that had not even taken a second, he could imagine how terrifying that must have been for a human to experience.  
“I’m… so sorry… Lord…”, the servant almost whispered. He even shivered lightly, his conditioned subconscious naturally trying to prepare him for some form of punishment. When Silas grabbed him gently in favour of balancing out a terrible memory with an unexpected act of niceness, Janos was as tense as a metal plate. His eyes indicated that he was not scared, but his body remembered far too clearly what the mind had pushed away in order to not be afraid.  
“I’m tired of hearing you apologize to me over nothing.”

  
“I-I’m sorr-” Perhaps it had been a little overreacting, perhaps even counterproductive. Perhaps he should have been more careful. And worst of all, perhaps he regretted it a little less than he should have.  
Janos did not squirm in his arms, nor did he do anything but continuing to shiver while they kissed. It had been the only thing Silas had kind of retained from the days in his life where he had still been human. For him, it was linked to a loving, positive feeling, which had made it appropriate for correcting behaviour in his eyes. Only that back then, the person he had held hadn’t been limp in his arms, nor had they acted like a corpse. And they had been about the same height too, while he now had to somehow compensate for their difference in size.  
“Are you still alive?”, he asked, only half-jokingly. Though Janos didn’t seem like he was in a state to answer anyways. He tried to, but no words ever left his mouth. Was he broken? Silas shook him very lightly and carefully, sadly to no avail. It was only after ten agonizingly dragged out seconds of staring at each other, that Janos finally found his voice again.  
“Am I… allowed to move, Lord…?”  
“Of course you are.” It took a bit for the servant to actually get his body to move, though when it did, he wasted no time to distance himself, followed by a deep bow of his head. Deeper than Janos had ever greeted him. Deeper than he had ever greeted Caligola, as far as Silas remembered.  
“Thank you, Lord.”, Janos added. However, his voice was stable now, as if he had managed to snap back into a more composed manner.  
“For what?” A part of him wanted to hear the human say it out loud with the same honest tone he now sported. It was like an itch at the inside of one’s skull that couldn’t be scratched.  
“Thank you for not breaking my upper arms while holding me, thank you for not biting me, thank you for dis-”  
“That’s enough, I didn’t want you to make an entire list!”  
“I’m…-” Janos cut himself off, glancing at him to see if Silas would already count that as another apology. He decided not to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Silas attempts to fix a problem by creating an awkward situation

Contrary to what he had thought, Janos did not warm up more towards him than he already had so far, Silas was under the impression that the servant had issues doing so to begin with. But he had established a way to work around that eventually.  
“Are you not bothered by that?”  
“No, Sire. It’s what I would deserve if my work quality would drop.” He nodded at that, although he didn’t like the idea of physical punishment for a fragile thing such as a human.  
“And after all, it does not matter if what my Lord does is just. If it concerns me, then his word is law.”  
“Socialise with me, Janos.” The servant froze, though he tried his hardest to find back to his work routine.  
“I can’t do that right now, Sire. I am currently working on-”  
“ _I told you to socialise with me, Janos._ ” Saying it in Nostraman made him immediately straighten his back, his hands trembling ever so lightly. Silas frowned a little at that, though at the same time, he found it very endearing. Fascinating even. Truly, it was very interesting what simple words could do to another person.  
“What, did he never call you by your name?”, Silas chuckled lightly, stepping behind the servant in front of the work bench.  
“No, Sir.”  
  
“Well, I’m going to do it. Also, I thought we talked about the formalities and how their absence could provide a more familiar atmosphere.”  
“I’m afraid I cannot do that, Sire, I have work to-”  
“ _Janos…_ ”, he purred, mastering the proper intonation and pronunciation to keep the other trembling. However, when he put his hands on the servant’s hips, Janos gave him a frantic jump in return. That it wasn’t accompanied by a scream had probably been sheer luck, despite the fact that Silas had only reassuringly patted them.  
“You don’t have to take everything he does to you, you know?”  
“I… I will need to… disagree with that, Sire…”  
“And I’ll need to disagree with you disagreeing.” To be honest, he didn’t even know why he did what he did right now, why he was purposefully putting the servant in an uncomfortable position like this. But at the same time, it felt strangely satisfactory. And the desire to re-enact one of their prior meetings was unusually urgent all of a sudden.  
“Then perhaps you could spare a little time for me? How about five minutes.”  
“That I could do, Sire! But not more than that, I’m afraid.” That was all he needed to crudely shove aside whatever Janos had been working at and seating him onto the workbench. Though much to his distaste, he noticed the servant was more concerned about the gauntlet he was supposed to fix than what might happen to him. Perhaps things had to be more personal to focus his attention.  
  
“Show me.”  
“I beg your pardon, Sire…?”  
“You said you received implants which had been taken out after you failed the training phase.”  
“That is correct.” Now that there was a reason to it, it seemed like Janos finally managed to relax a little more and carefully opened his robes. Some of the scars did make sense, he knew which implants had been where. But others were too random and not precise enough to be the leftovers of surgical procedures. When he gently pressured a few ribs, Janos winced.  
“Did that hurt?”  
“It does, Sire.”  
“They didn’t heal correctly.” The servant nodded lightly, as if the pain reminded him of something, but not deeming it a bad memory at all.  
“There was a lot of work to do, still. I didn’t have much time to get better.” He too nodded. Perhaps there was one thing he could do, although he was well aware of the fact that these cracked ribs wouldn’t ever get better again naturally.  
“I faintly remember my mother doing this when I came to her with an injury.”, Silas said, his tone rather reminiscent of old times and things that had occurred before Janos had even been born. Yet he was convinced that the servant could relate in a way. It was just what mothers did, in his opinion.  
  
“Perhaps there is more to it than my memory gives her credit for.” For a brief moment, he took pride in the fact that Janos seemed too startled to say anything or even move when he bent his head down to kiss one of the damaged ribs better. The second was rewarded with a stressed shiver, which he took even more pride in. However, upon moving to the third, a hand hastily shoved itself between him and the cracked bones.  
“I’m afraid I’ll… I’ll h-have to…” The servant took a moment to compose himself, breathing in and out profusely to steady his heartbeat.  
“I’m afraid I’ll have to return to work now, Lord.”  
“Drop the formalities.” Perhaps he had been saying it a little too sincere, a little too angry to not make Janos recoil visibly from wanting to get off the workbench.  
“Please, if one of them breaks again, I won’t be able to work efficiently.”  
“Is such a simple touch really that intimidating to you?” Janos allowed himself a careful smile, although his eyes still tried their best to find a way out of his position.  
“Everything is intimidating when one of your kind does it, Lord.”  
“Is that so?“ Silas returned the smile with a smirk that was the very definition of foreshadowing.  
  
“You do trust me, isn’t that right?”  
“Of course, Lord.“ Although conditioned, it was still an honest response. There was not a shred of doubt in Janos’ voice, his confidence was proof enough of that.  
“Then there is no reason for you to not get a little more comfortable with me.”, he continued, having the servant back off upon him leaning in more and more. There still were elaborate attempts to dodge eye contact at all costs and he understood that in a way. It was not an enjoyable thing for a mortal to come face to face with one of his kind, especially for this one. But he would have also expected that the servant would have recognized him as someone that did not want to harm him. If anything, he wanted to help the servant overcome the shadow of punishment that loomed over him, even if he’d have to resort to stranger methods.  
  
“I don’t think I… could…”, Janos began upon having no more room to back off on the work bench and away from the origin of his discomfort. Each of his words was slowly fading into nothingness when Silas leaned in to cross the final distance between them, however, he also turned his head just in time so that the worst he had to face was a kiss placed right at the corner of his mouth. What Janos apparently hadn’t taken into account was that Silas also didn’t have any issues with improvising.  
“I, uh… Lord…!” The implication of direness at the end of the sentence, just when he had decided to pull Janos back towards him by his hips, was even more of a guilty pleasure for him.  The servant’s distress should not be his focus, yet, he somehow found it very rewarding to have someone be this flustered over something he did. And not in a way that indicated said person had realised their death was upon them. Although Janos kind of looked like that too.  
“Did I make a mis-” Intuitively, his hand found its way into Janos’ hair to lightly pull him into the right direction for a full kiss. Just like last time, the servant didn’t offer any kind of resistance and went almost limp in his grip. It even went as far as not showing any kind of reaction at all, except for obvious shock. Or at least that was what he had believed, until he shoved Janos closer so that they’d get into more body contact and felt hands hovering over him. Shaky, very unsure hands.  
  
“Don’t be afraid to touch me.”  
“I… That is not allowed…”, the servant said, his voice trembling more and more with every second that they remained in their position.  
“I’ll allow it.”  
“It’s… not allowed, Lord…”, Janos repeated, having Silas frown lightly. Perhaps he’d need to prepare him a little better. Like a steak.  
“So you want me to go first?” It was half question and half a statement and Janos had troubles answering anything at all, considering that there were hands under his open robes that carefully traced the outlines of his spine. It was so tiny to him, the bones, the muscles, the distance between the ribs. Everything was so small that it inevitably made him chuckle in delight. Their strange hug was barely comfortable, though he was able to make room for himself where he needed it.  
“Put your hand on my head.”  
“But I cannot…-”  
  
“ _Put your hand on my head, Janos._ ” The servant withdrew at that and shook his head, caught between feeling the need to obey, but also to follow what he had been conditioned to do over years.  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to him, Janos brought down one of his hands like instructed, although it was shaking profusely and was not at all eager to even do so much as touch his hair. It was all too obvious that Janos had never wanted to find a reason to something as much as he did right now. The look on his face was the one of a man that contemporary struggled with existing, though it had something adorable to it. Personally, Silas didn’t think that Janos had ever gotten more attention than just a glance from those he served, so that reaction was probably rather appropriate. But there also was no need to be so reluctant about it, at least in his opinion. Why not be happy that Silas had decided to be gentle towards him instead of the usual resentment that Janos surely experienced daily! He was doing the servant justice where no one else would!  
  
“I… don’t think-”  
“You can push me where you want me to be.” The struggle on Janos’ face was all too visible, however, he managed to put another hand on Silas’ shoulder and began to carefully push him. Only that he didn’t direct him anywhere but away from him.  
“Don’t be like that, Janos.”  
“I’m very sorry, Sir. But I also do not want to put my health at risk.”  
“So you think I would break you in half, is that it?” The servant shook his head, trying to evade eye contact somehow, despite how close they were.  
“No, of course not! However, I’d not want to try my luck, Lord. I am not a lucky person, I’m afraid.” He smiled at that, although it also displeased him to a degree. So many servants on this ship were treated like slaves, there was no shame in feeling lucky by finally receiving attention and care for once.  
  
“Oh, why is that?”  
“Because I am still here, Lord.“ It sounded rather naturally for someone such as Janos, who usually refrained from bad-mouthing his superior or his environment in any way. But perhaps they had finally reached a breaking point in their relationship, perhaps Janos was finally able to get comfortable around him.  
“You want to leave this place?” For a moment, the servant hesitated, but eventually nodded. Yet, he was also smart enough to not verbally indicate anything regarding this matter. Nothing that could later be used against him in some way, shape or form.  
“I see. ” Of course he’d want to leave. Who wouldn’t? Perhaps he could take Janos in, make him into a personal assistant and have him forget about the nightmares he had had to endure on this ship. And perhaps, Silas would be able to keep him for himself. _An investment_. He was investing time and effort into re-education purposes where he thought they would give him back double the amount in the long run.  
“Sir, if I may remind you that I promised you five minutes, which are long overdue…?”  
“Ah, who keeps track of those anyway?”  
  
“Well, I do, Sir!” How ungrateful. But Janos had been trained to refuse what would do him good, Silas was pretty sure that the servant was purposefully keeping himself from enjoying nice things. Just because it was apparently not allowed. Although that suddenly kindled an idea.  
“I’ll tell you what: If you say my name, I’m going to let you get back to work, alright?”  
“Sire…?”  
“So close, try again.” Janos adjusted himself on the workbench, still holding him at arm’s length. And Silas obliged, not because he couldn’t drastically change that within a second, but because he found it somewhat… adorable. In the way one would find a tiny kitten adorable.  
“I assure you, I find your offer most generous, Lord Silas.“ Ah yes, he should’ve thought of that. But at least he had heard his name at all, Janos didn’t seem to even know anyone else by name so far. Did he even know what his master was called? On second thought, Caligola had probably never introduced himself to begin with, so chances weren’t all too high on that one.  
”I’ll let that slide, just this once.” They would get there eventually.  
“Most kind of you, Sir.” He nodded at that and finally stepped back to let Janos climb off of the workbench for good. Or, in Silas’ case, for something entirely boring and way less exciting.  
  
“My apologies, I didn’t mean to be insufficient, Lord. However, I also have a schedule to uphold and expectations to fulfil.” Silas chose to dignify Janos’ bow with a nod, although the servant had seemed to immediately notice that he was displeased.  
“Again, my apologies. Perhaps I can be of service anyhow, if you would wish for entertainment.”  
“I could make do with that.” It was only now that Silas noticed how relaxed Janos had gotten within a matter of seconds. Having his routine resume and his hands being occupied with the tasks he had been given, he seemed like a completely different person than a mere minute ago. Never before had it occurred to him that perhaps, there was something off about this man. Undoubtedly, being forced into servitude on such a ship, in these environments nonetheless, would leave a mental mark on everyone, although it didn’t feel like that.  
  
“Right then, where did we leave off?”  
“I believe we were talking about socialising before the five minute time limit was vastly overstepped, Sir.” Good, so Janos remembered that. That meant it couldn’t be anything regarding his short term memory.  
“I imagine it would be much easier for you if I was human, wouldn’t it?” The servant shrugged lightly, nevertheless, the corners of his mouth formed a sort of embarrassed smile.  
“It is not my strong subject, Lord. I have been trained to serve, not to socialise, therefore I seem to lack some qualities. Although I do not think that they would be helpful in this environment, I have to admit.”  
“Come on now, you cannot be that strange of a person!” Another shrug, although the body language of someone that was carefully choosing his words still remained present.  
“I don’t think I am, Sir! In all honesty, I do think I am quite ordinary, but that would border on a topic that we have already discussed prior.” Was it a personality disorder or perhaps a light case of neuroticism? In that case, Janos could be fixed. It would take a lot of time and effort, but Silas had never been a someone that steered away from a challenge. He would fix this man. One way or another.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Caligola's disappointment is immeasurable and his night is ruined.
> 
> (This one is a bit shorter, much like Janos, I have quite a lot on my plate right now!)

“You rang?”  
“Don’t play that with me.” The slave nodded lightly.  
“My apologies, my Lord. What is it that you need of me?” Better. Not like a bootlicker, but at the same time respectful. Caligola nodded in return, although very absently. He had other things to deal with at this hour, Dionyss was going to get them all killed if he’d keep pestering the navigator of their ship. In his opinion, nothing good came of studying the warp and what it was. Nothing good would ever come of understanding that damn thing, they had enough problems as it was and collecting these reports would lead nowhere beneficial to their current situation.  
“There’s something that’s been bothering me.”, he mumbled, although Janos showed no sign of hearing him. He probably had, but kept it to himself. Diplomats had always sickened Caligola to an extent, even if he knew that sometimes, it was good to keep one’s mouth shut. Especially for a servant.  
Janos was an excellent example of how to practise such a thing. He was excellent in general. And that caused Caligola to feel something that might have resembled resentment. However, he pushed that away. Janos was not worth expressing or even experiencing an emotion for. He was a mere mortal. A competent one, but not irreplaceable.  
“It’s been weeks since they decided to restock.” In this case, restocking meant basically everything. Food, ammunitions, replacement gear, even servants. At this rate, they would become scavengers really fast. And picking up the Emperor’s Children was just another mouth to feed, they should have left him for dead.  
  
“I followed your inquiry, my Lord. It seems like the bridge does not know when we’ll join the fleet again or if that is even possible.” Caligola ground his teeth, but refused to be angered by these circumstances. It wasn’t like he cared much what would happen to the others, but their manpower would dwindle considerably if they kept this up.  
“Dionyss can rot in hell with his damn experiments…“  
“Is there anything else you need, my Lord?” It took Caligola a moment to not waste any more time with cursing Dionyss for his recklessness and instead turn to face Janos. He did sound a little different this time, his tone seemed a bit higher than usual. If anything, Caligola would have thought the servant had been hurrying to get here, judging from how his tanned skin couldn’t fully conceal the agitated blood flow underneath. But Janos was not out of breath and there was only cold sweat on him. However, there was something else as well…  
“You smell different.” For what was merely a split second before Janos averted his eyes, he saw the slight hint of panic in them. That was all he needed to take a step forward.  
It had proven to be an efficient method of intimidation with minimal effort on his part. The mere fact that his presence was intimidating to Janos saved him a lot of trouble and energy.  
“Seems familiar, but I can’t quite place it.”  
“I do not recall what you’re referring to, my Lord.” Another step.  
“ _Then who does?_ ”  
  
“I’m not sure-”One more step and they were right in front of each other. If the punishment for coming clean would be as merciless as the one for lying, it would make no difference. That was not how efficient training worked. However, he now was close enough to take a better look at Janos. He hadn’t looked at him in a long time, come to think of it. It was rare that he even spared the servant a glance while having him follow orders or sending him somewhere and it was even rarer that he had to force Janos into looking at him.  
Of course, the human didn’t want to accidentally meet his eyes while he looked him up and down, though Caligola made sure to be thorough, taking in every single detail that might have changed from last time they had been standing in front of each other like that. And judging from the bruises he immediately spotted on the curve of servant’s shoulder, someone had been touching _his_ property.  
“Whom have you been seeing.” Caligola had halfway expected it to be Dionyss himself, although that would be an entirely different smell. Corruption oozed out of this man, it was sickening and disgusting. Of course, they were anything but a pure legion, he knew that. But they had their legion pride. And that pride was dragged through the mud by people such as Dionyss, claiming that the warp was something to be fascinated by.  
  
Perhaps, and in a way entirely more plausible, it had been Velandt. They had had a history of clashing ideals and ranks while simultaneously being stuck in the same squad and Caligola knew that Velandt wanted his position. Not the type of man to be secretive about his agendas and what he was trying to accomplish, but that didn’t make him less dangerous. It just meant that he had nothing to lose. If it was truly Velandt, then Caligola would have to go through the trouble of breaking in a new servant after he had gotten rid of Janos. Inconvenient trouble.  
And thirdly, which was the most annoying to deal with, Hellion came to mind. He was the least of a problem, that being said however, he was a general problem for all of them. Hellion cut through their servants like a hot knife through butter and he wasn’t even ashamed of admitting how wasteful he was with them. None of the mortals had lasted for more than a couple of months before being put out of their misery and immediately being replaced with another. And Caligola would rather be quick about it and take Hellion’s head for good than having him steal his servant as well.    
  
On the other hand, the bruises were too light. Not what that man usually left on mortals he interacted with.  
“If I may… make a suggestion, Sire? Perhaps Lord Silas could-” No matter what Janos had said, Caligola had tuned it out completely after hearing that name. _But of course_. He should have known.  
“You’ve been talking to him.” It was not so much a question as an affirmation of what he already knew. And much to his confirmation, Janos nodded.  
“He had a lot of questions for me, Sire. Should I not have obliged?” So Janos had entertained the Emperor’s Children this far, interesting. No wonder no one had been annoyed by Silas’ presence, he was spending all this time pestering a servant. _His servant_.  
“No. That would’ve made him even more obnoxious.” As far as he could still interpret facial features, Janos seemed rather relieved to hear that. And immediately afterwards, perhaps as a natural response by now, followed the realisation that that was not the end of it yet.  
“What does he want from someone like you?”  
“Conversation, it seems. I am not entirely sure myself, Lord.” Suspicious. Unnerving, even. What would Silas want with his servant, one would think he had better things to do. Then again, this was not a place for men with unrealistic expectations of life and their existence. The Emperor’s Children would most likely leave as soon as possible, for his own sake. But what if he would not leave alone?  
  
“What kind of conversation?”  
“I… am not exactly sure myself, Lord.”, Janos repeated, although he seemed to have grown careful with his words once more. How interesting.  
“He mostly wishes to talk about me, that is all.” So that meant Silas was actively distracting someone that had better things to do, this hadn’t been a one-time occurrence, it was _still_ happening.  
“This is your problem, Janos. You deal with it or I will deal with you.”  
“Understood, my Lord.” Naturally, Caligola felt his disdain for the Emperor’s Children increase every night that he was forced to interact with him, though this made it all the more present. The most frustrating part wasn’t even the fact that Silas openly disrespected him by laying a hand on his servant, it was the fact that he couldn’t fathom why. What was so special about Janos that he deserved this attention? Something else was going on and he would find out what it was, he had no other choice. The streets of Nostramo and being a part of this legion had taught him that things that were left unchecked came back to stab you in the back at the most vulnerable moment. Silas, while delusional and entirely misguided, was to be considered such a thing. And Caligola would rather strip the flesh from his own bones than being stabbed in the back by such a man.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story, then this individual would be very thankful for Kudos and comments, delicious reader! More chapters to follow as they are written, writer's block included!


End file.
